REGALIA

n : Distinguishing insignia, jewels and costume of such ancient and honorable orders as Knights of Adam; Visionaries of Delectable Bosh; the Ancient Order of Modern Troglodytes; the League of Holy Humbug; the Golden Phalanx of Phalangers; the Genteel Society of Expurgated Hoodlums; the Mystic Alliance of Gorgeous Regalians; Knights and Ladies of the Yellow Dog; the Oriental Order of Sons of the West; the Blather hood of Insufferable Stuff; Warriors of the Long Bow; Guardians of the Great Horn Spoon; the Band of Brutes; the Impenitent Order of Wife Beaters; the Sublime Legion of Flamboyant Conspicuants; Worshipers at the Electroplated Shrine; Shining Inacce ibles; Fee-Faw-Fummers of the Inimitable Grip; Janni aries of the Broad-Blown Peacock; Plumed Increscencies of the Magic Temple; the Grand Cabal of Able-Bodied Sedentarians; A ociated Deities of the Butter Trade; the Garden of Galoots; the Affectionate Fraternity of Men Similarly Warted; the Flashing Astonish ers; Ladies of Horror; Cooperative A ociation for Breaking into the Spotlight; Dukes of Eden; Disciples Militant of the Hidden Faith; Knights-Champions of the Domestic Dog; the Holy Gregarians; the Resolute Optimists; the Ancient Sodality of Inhospitable Hogs; A ociated Sovereigns of Mendacity; Dukes-Guardian of the Mystic Ce Pool; the Society for Prevention of Prevalence; Kings of Drink; Polite Federation of Gents-Consequential; the Mysterious Order of the Undecipherable Scroll; Uniformed Rank of Lousy Cats; Monarchs of Worth and Hunger; Sons of the South Star; Prelates of the Tub-and-Sword. RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. “What is your religion my son?” inquired the Archbishop of Rheims. “Pardon, monseigneur,” replied Rochebriant; “I am ashamed of it.” “Then why do you not become an atheist?” “Impo ible! J should be ashamed of atheism.” “In that case, monsieur, you should join the Protestants.” RELIQUARY, n. A receptacle for such sacred objects as pieces of the true cro , short-ribs of saints, the ears of Balaam’s a , the lung of the cock that called Peter to repentance and so forth. Reliquaries are commonly of metal, and provided with a lock to prevent the contents from coming out and performing miracles at unseasonable times. A feather from the wing of the Angel of the Annunciation once escaped during a sermon in Saint Peter’s and so tickled the noses of the congregation that they woke and sneezed with great vehemence three times each. It is related in the “Gesta Sanctorum” that a sacristan in the Canterbury cathedral surprised the head of Saint Dennis in the library. Reprimanded by its stern custodian, it explained that it was seeking a body of doctrine. This unseemly levity so enraged the diocesan that the offender was publicly anathematized, thrown into the Stour and replaced by another head of Saint Dennis, brought from Rome. RENOWN, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame—a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand. I touched the harp in every key, But found no heeding ear; And then Ithuriel touched me With a revealing spear. Not all my genius, great as ’tis, Could urge me out of night. I felt the faint appulse of his, And leapt into the light! W. J. Candle ton. 289