MACROBIAN

n : One forgotten of the gods and living to a great age. History is abundantly supplied with examples, from Me thu selah to Old Parr, but some notable instances of longevity are le well known. A Cal a brian peasant named Coloni, born in 1753, lived so long that he had what he considered a glimpse of the dawn of universal peace. Scanavius relates that he knew an archbishop who was so old that he could remember a time when he did not deserve hanging. In 1566 a linen draper of Bristol, England, declared that he had lived five hundred years, and that in all that time he had never told a lie. There are instances of longevity (macro bios is) in our own country. Senator Chauncey Depew is old enough to know better. The editor of The American, a newspaper in New York City, has a memory that goes back to the time when he was a rascal, but not to the fact. The President of the United States was born so long ago that many of the friends of his youth have risen to high political and military preferment without the a istance of personal merit. The verses following were written by a macrobian: When I was young the world was fair And amiable and sunny. A brightne was in all the air, In all the waters, honey. The jokes were fine and funny, The statesmen honest in their views, And in their lives, as well, And when you heard a bit of news ”T was true enough to tell. Men were not ranting, shouting, reeking, Nor women “generally speaking.” The Summer then was long indeed: It lasted one whole season! The sparkling Winter gave no heed When ordered by Unreason To bring the early peas on. Now, where the dickens is the sense In calling that a year Which does no more than just commence Before the end is near? When I was young the year extended From month to month until it ended. I know not why the world has changed To something dark and dreary, And everything is now arranged To make a fellow weary. The Weather Man—lI fear he Has much to do with it, for, sure, The air is not the same: It chokes you when it is impure, When pure it makes you lame. With windows closed you are asthmatic; Open, neuralgic or sciatic. Well, I suppose this new régime Of dun degeneration Seems eviler than it would seem To a better observation, And has for compensation Some ble ings in a deep disguise Which mortal sight has failed To pierce, although to angels’ eyes They’re visibly unveiled. If Age is such a boon, good land! He’s costumed by a master hand!? Venable Strigg. Map, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the con formants from study of themselves; at odds with the majority; in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that themselves are sane. For illustration, this present (and illustrious) lexicographer is no firmer in the faith of his own sanity than is any inmate of any madhouse in the land; yet for aught he knows to the contrary, instead of the lofty occupation that seems to him to be engaging his powers he may really be beating his hands against the window bars of an asylum and declaring himself Noah Webster, to the innocent delight of many thoughtle spectators. MAGDALENE, n. An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala being another person than the penitent woman mentioned by St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of the governments of Great Britain and the United States. In England the word is pronounced Maudlin, whence maudlin, adjectWith their ive, unpleasantly sentimental. Maudlin for Magdalene, and their Bedlam for Bethlehem, the English may justly boast themselves the greatest of revisers. MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them. 212