ORPHAN

n : A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude—a privation appealing with a particular eloquence to all that is sympathetic in human nature. When young the orphan is commonly sent to an asylum, where by careful cultivation of its rudimentary sense of locality it is taught to know its place. It is then instructed in the arts of dependence and servitude and eventually turned loose to prey upon the world as a bootblack or scullery maid. ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious yoke. ORTHOGRAPHY, n. The science of spelling by the eye instead of the ear. Advocated with more heat than light by the out mates of every asylum for the insane. They have had to concede a few things since the time of Chaucer, but are none the le hot in defence of those to be conceded hereafter. A spelling reformer indicted For fudge was before the court cicted. The judge said: “Enough— His candle we’ll snough, And his sepulchre shall not be whicted.” OsTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtle ) nature has denied that hinder toe in which so many pious naturalists have seen a conspicuous evidence of design. The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly. 245